Because Space Is Just Another Summit
Houston, we have a patch! Meet your new mission commander - a rocket that thinks gravity is more of a suggestion than a law. This little space ace is ready to add some astronomical style to your hat game.
Technical Specs:
- Dimensions: 1.25"W x 2.5"T of pure thrust
- Premium PVC Construction
- Velcro backing stronger than rocket fuel
Built for Launch:
- Waterproof (unlike your space ice cream)
- Cold-resistant (space-tested, obviously)
- No-curl edges (more aerodynamic than NASA)
- Bomber velcro backing (grips better than zero gravity)
Perfect For:
- Altitude enthusiasts
- Gravity deniers
- Professional senders
- Launch button smashers
- People who think "up" is the only direction
- Anyone who's ever said "to infinity and beyond"
- Those who make rocket noises... just because
Why This Rocket Rules:
- Powered by pure stoke
- Has better thrust than your morning coffee
- Makes jet planes look slow
- Probably runs on good vibes
- Definitely faster than your ex's new ride
Warning: May cause:
- Spontaneous countdown sequences
- Chronic space dreaming
- Uncontrollable urge to make whoosh noises
- Sudden interest in astronomy
- Mysterious rocket sound effects
- Enhanced appreciation for zero gravity
Essential Features:
- Built-in stoke boosters
- Maximum send capacity
- High-altitude attitude
- Certified space-grade swagger
- More fire power than your mixtape
Slap this cosmic cruiser on your gear and show everyone that the sky isn't the limit - it's just the beginning.
Note: No actual rockets were launched in the making of this patch, but several were spotted achieving escape velocity from pure style.
