<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Slap Cap &#187; wal-mart</title>
	<atom:link href="http://slapcap.com/tag/wal-mart/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://slapcap.com</link>
	<description>Clean Jokes and Humor</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:08:46 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Ways 26-50 to get Yourself Tossed From Wal-Mart</title>
		<link>http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/ways-26-50-to-get-yourself-tossed-from-wal-mart/</link>
		<comments>http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/ways-26-50-to-get-yourself-tossed-from-wal-mart/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Jan 2010 07:09:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Parker Youngblood</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[clean jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wal-mart]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/ways-26-50-to-get-yourself-tossed-from-wal-mart/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We hope you enjoyed our ways #1-25 to get yourself kicked out of Wal-Mart so much that you just can&#8217;t wait to ready ways #26-50! Once again, we strongly advise you to NEVER actually do any of these things, as you will get in trouble ranging from just getting tossed out, to maybe getting arrested [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>We hope you enjoyed our ways #1-25 to get yourself kicked out of Wal-Mart so much that you just can&#8217;t wait to ready ways #26-50!</p>
<p>Once again, we strongly advise you to NEVER actually do any of these things, as you will get in trouble ranging from just getting tossed out, to maybe getting arrested and charged with vandalism, shoplifting or worse!! DO NOT EVER do anything on this list!</p>
<p>Ok now that we have that straight, on with the list?</p>
<p> 26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don&#8217;t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it<br /> 27. Start opening boxes in the toy section and then walk away. If an employee asks what you&#8217;re doing, just say &#8220;I changed my mind.&#8221;<br /> 28. Run all over the store in just a bathing suit whilel singing &quot;Surfin USA&quot; by the Beach Boys<br /> 29. Say things like, &#8220;Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?&#8221;<br /> 30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream &#8220;GET AWAY FROM ME!!!&#8221; Then run out of the store screaming<br /> 31. Ask silly questions to several employees such as &#8220;Why is this placed called Wal-Mart&#8221;? Or what&#8217;s up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can&#8217;t you all remember your own names?<br /> 32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can &#8220;catch&#8221; from the other aisles<br /> 33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then make hissing sounds like a snake and act like you&#8217;re about to strike.34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady&#8217;s face and watch her freak out<br /> 35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, &#8220;I like to move it, move it! Or say &#8220;You got chicken legs!&#8221;<br /> 36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from &#8220;Mission: Impossible.&#8221;<br /> 37. While no one&#39;s watching quickly switch the men&#39;s and women&#39;s signs on the doors of the rest room<br /> 38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply &#8220;He&#8217;s going to help me pick out his favorite dog food&#8221;</p>
<p>Did you get tossed out yet and land on your cell phone or camera and break it? Get your <a title="Sony Digital Camera Repair" href="http://www.darntoothysam.com/categories/Sony-Digital-Camera-Parts-and-Repair-Service/">Sony digital camera repair</a> for an affordable price and get back in the game!</p>
<p>39. TP as much of the store as possible<br /> 40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! Then get back up &amp; act normal<br /> 41. Dress up in a trench coat &amp; wear sunglasses. Quickly and quietly walk up to a stranger and say something in code like &#8220;The flower is in the fourth tree&#8221; then wait for their reply. When they stop talking, give them a toy gun and whisper to them &quot;use this wisely.&#8221;<br /> 42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke<br /> 43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them &amp; say to no one&#8230; I know I know&#8230; hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look &amp; walk off<br /> 44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day<br /> 45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department<br /> 46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom<br /> 47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Now begin chanting &#8220;We love bagels! We love bagels!&#8221;<br /> 48. Get on the intercom system and announce a huge sale on all items in electronics &amp; the first ten shoppers get their purchase for free&#8230; &amp; see what happens<br /> 49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in people’s carts<br /> 50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners</p>
<p>Did you get tossed out yet and land on your cell phone or camera and break it? Get your <a title="Sony Digital Camera Repair" href="http://www.darntoothysam.com/categories/Canon-Digital-Camera-Parts-and-Repair-Service/">Canon digital camera repair</a> for an affordable price and get back in the game!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/ways-26-50-to-get-yourself-tossed-from-wal-mart/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Top 25 Ways to Get Kicked out of Your Local Wal-Mart</title>
		<link>http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/top-25-ways-to-get-kicked-out-of-your-local-wal-mart/</link>
		<comments>http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/top-25-ways-to-get-kicked-out-of-your-local-wal-mart/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:04:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Parker Youngblood</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[clean jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wal-mart]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/top-25-ways-to-get-kicked-out-of-your-local-wal-mart/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s all the rage these days to make goofy websites about Wal-Mart, and one of the newest is a list of ways to get yourself kicked out of one. There are hundreds of ways we have thought of to have some fun getting kicked out of your local Wal-Mart; here are ways number 1 through [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>It&#8217;s all the rage these days to make goofy websites about Wal-Mart, and one of the newest is a list of ways to get yourself kicked out of one. There are hundreds of ways we have thought of to have some fun getting kicked out of your local Wal-Mart; here are ways number 1 through 25!</p>
<p>I would highly suggest that you do not attempt any of these ways to get tossed out of any store! Most of these tips will get you arrested for destruction of property, vandalism or even theft; or just are bad enough that you SHOULD NOT do them for real.</p>
<p>If you attempt any of the items listed below, you do so at your own risk!</p>
<p>1. Swap items from one strangers cart with items in another strangers cart<br /> 2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, &#8220;Hi! I haven&#8217;t seen you in so long!&#8230;&#8221; etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment<br /> 3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham<br /> 4. Go up to some old geezer &amp; say &#8220;Grandpa!!! You&#8217;re ALIVE!!! It&#8217;s AMAZING!!!&#8221; etc.<br /> 5. Take something from someone else&#8217;s cart, when they say &#8220;hey, that&#8217;s mine!&quot; call for security and tell them the other person was going to take your &#8230;<br /> 6. Move &#8220;Caution: Wet Floor&#8221; signs to carpeted areas.<br /> 7. Hide inside one of those big round clothes racks and jump out at people yelling &#8220;BOO!!!&#8221;<br /> 8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell &#8220;THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!&#8221;<br /> 9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, &#8220;COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!&#8221;<br /> 10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell &#8220;PICK ME&#8221;<br /> 11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, &#8220;Why won&#8217;t you people just leave me alone?&#8221;<br /> 12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men<br /> * Did your digital camera get broken from you getting thrown out of Wal-Mart? Here&#8217;s a great place to go for <a title="Sony Digital Camera Repair" href="http://www.darntoothysam.com/categories/Sony-Digital-Camera-Parts-and-Repair-Service/">Sony digital camera repair</a>!<br /> 13. Hide out inside a clothing rack. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them<br /> 14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice<br /> 15. Randomly place a dozen bags of candy in peoples carts<br /> 16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.<br /> 17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say &#8220;code three in house ware&#8221; and see what happens<br /> 18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department<br /> 19. Challenge other customers to sword duels with tubes of gift wrap<br /> 20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then start to act like you&#8217;re the conductor<br /> 21. Ask various employees for non-existant items or made up products, i.e.&#8221;Where is the canned steam?&#8221;<br /> 22. Open packs of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a duel!<br /> 23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation<br /> 24. Hide a walkie-talkie behind a doll and when people walk by make it say &#8220;I know where you live&#8230;&#8221;<br /> 25. Attempt to drown yourself in a kiddy pool&#8230;<br /> * Did you get tossed out yet and land on your cell phone or camera and break it? Get your <a title="Canon Digital Camera Repair" href="http://www.darntoothysam.com/categories/Canon-Digital-Camera-Parts-and-Repair-Service/">Canon digital camera repair</a> for an affordable price and get back in the game!</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy the list! Please remember this is for laughs only, do not attempt any of these for real.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://slapcap.com/clean-jokes/top-25-ways-to-get-kicked-out-of-your-local-wal-mart/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

